Off The Hook USB Flash Drives
Published September 13, 2010Check out these cool USB flash drives. Total James Bond. The bacon one is perfect for the Cooking Asshole. The loser hearts bacon.
You can get these flash drives here.
Angelina Jolie’s Family Tree
Published September 8, 2010She’s Got The Look
The action heroineness of a Jawa, the lips of an Ewok (notice the teeth are the same, too) and the eyes of an Afghan (and no, I’m not talking about that orange, brown and green thing on the couch in your trailer that your Great Aunt Trixie crocheted back in the 70′s). This chick’s HOT!
The Leaves Are Falling
Published August 26, 2010
A couple of weeks ago I noticed the leaves on some of the trees started to turn color. Damn, in the middle of August? Won’t be long and the lawnmower man will be bitching about raking them again. It’s hella funny. I have a False Mulberry in the front yard. It’s like a mofo weed. WTF were people thinking when then planted them? The neighbor cuts the branches off of his every year and every year they all grow back. The root systems are invasive as hell, lifting up sidewalks and sending out feeder roots yards and yards from the trunk. It’s like an alien invasion.
Anyhoo, in the spring the trees gets these 4″ long caterpillar-like tonsel hanging thingys on them. The grand kids call them snakes. They’re full of pollen and make a mess in the yard. I saw the lawnmower man pull up one day and the yard was tit-deep in them. I watched him mouth one big FUCK!!! as he stepped out of his truck. It was comical.
So, what’s this post got to do with cleaning up leaves? Nothing. This is for all you rednecks who store junked or wrecked cars in your front yard knowing damn well you’ll never be able to afford to fix them and can’t afford to have them towed away. Come on, for loud crying out. Clean up your damn yard so you’ll have room for those giant inflatable vinyl Christmas kreechurs from Walmart this winter.
I’ve got some good news for you. Have the those old clunkers towed away for free. I shit you not. All you gots to do is fill out an online form (you do have the interweb, right) and then they’ll be in touch with you (but not down there, you idiot. save that for your cousin.). They’ll come and tow away that ’76 Pinto for free and you don’t even have to be home. In some cases, they’ll even do it with missing DMV papers.
You’ve got two choices. Both of them come with free towing and have a nationwide network of towing companies willing to take that Ford P.O.S. off your hands. And yes, they’ll even come to your shit hole town. They take cars, truck and motorcycles.
- JunkMyCar – Fast removal of unwanted junk cars
- BuyMyWreck – They’ll buy your wrecked car
