How To Save The Airlines
Published January 19, 2011
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell — they don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a ‘party atmosphere’ going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an “ass”et.
Why didn’t Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Cash For Clunkers – Get All The Facts
Published August 28, 2009The post below was a comment I received from DonateCarUSA.com in response to my post “Cash for Clunkers – Dealers Are Getting Rich“. Due to the way formatting in comments squishes it all together in one large paragraph, I decided to post it here, instead. Here it is…
You may have heard of the government’s new “Cash for Clunkers” program but do you know all the facts?
Friday, August 21, 2009 Update: Informed sources are projecting that the total $3 billion directed to Cash for Clunkers will be fully expended by Monday and the program will be winding down at that point. Some projections indicate that 700,000 new car sales, including a Cash for Clunkers component, are on the books or will be by Monday. There’s some talk of more funding for Cash for Clunkers, but with congress out of session until after labor day, that can not be immediate. Naturally, it will be some months before the car dealers themselves are fully reimbursed for qualified Cash for Clunkers purchases through the program. Continue reading
