The government set the stage with the Cash for Clunkers program and in a few months the banks will begin acting out Part Deux of the hit play, “What’s Mine is Mine and What’s Yours is Mine.”  Read what the Mogambo Guru has to say about it.

All you dumbasses who bought into the hype of those ARMs or interest only mortgages, you got what you deserved.  Beats me WTF made you think you could make those payments.  Well, it’s about to be played out again when you find out you can’t make your Cash for Clunkers car payments.  R E P O S S E S S I O N!  I like the way that rolls off the tongue.  Just like M I S S I S S I P P I.  LMAO

Not only can’t you make your car payments, but you can’t pay the insurance on the damn thing.  Bet you kinda overlooked that part when you drove off the lot, huh.

But there is a silver lining to this gray cloud.  Sorta like Dog the Bounty Hunter, you will witness the birth of a whole new kind of entrepreneur – The Repo Man, not to mention all the new country western songs written about them.  If I were you I’d sell that new car and buy a tow truck and go into business for yourself. 

Just like a bounty hunter, the repo man gets paid a reward for bringing it those cars.  It’s going to get cutthroat out on the streets.  They will stalk you.  They’ll hire stakeout artists, or whatever the fuck they’re called, the people who sit in their cars down the street from yours and wait for you to turn out the lights when you go to bed.  Then they’ll text message the repo man that the coast is clear.  Stakeout person gets a few bills and the repo man collects his reward.

Here are some tips for keeping your new car when you can’t make the payments.

• Do not park your car outside at night.  They WILL repossess it.  True story…years ago a co-worker called into work one morning and said his car was stolen the night before.  Usually he parked it in the garage.  I know, because I’ve been to his house.  Truth be told, the dumbass fell asleep on the couch after mass quantities of beer and tequila and failed to pull the truck into the garage.  Months later he told me the truth of what really happened.  No one stole the damn thing, it got repossessed because the fucker was too busy blowing his green on alcohol and wasn’t making his car payments. 
• Do not drive your car to work.  They know where you work.  They WILL repossess it.
• Do not drive your car to the grocery store.  They will follow you.  They WILL repossess it.
• Leave it parked in your garage at all times.  If they try to steal if from in there it will be breaking and entering.  Don’t know if they can get the cops with a search warrant and I ain’t about to research it for you, dumbass.
• If you don’t have a garage, rent a storage unit and hide the fucker.
• But if there is no hope, leave you car parked outside at night with the doors unlocked and let the bums sleep in it.  That way when they tow it away you kill two birds with one stone – the car and the bums will be gone in the morning. 
• Make your car payments.

And even if they do take your car, your misery isn’t over because you still owe the money!  ROTFLMMFAO  Dude, get a bike.