Credit Cards

Citibank, You Guys Blow Goats

Credit Card Companies Suck

Citibank blows goatsJust exactly what does a “pre-approved” credit card application mean anyway?  Pre-approved suggests to me that the credit card company did their due diligence and decided that I was OK to open an account with them.

With interest rates as low as what they are, you’d think that interest rates on credit cards would follow suit.  Fuck no!  They went higher because of all the defaults when the economy went tits up.  And they got an extra boost when the government enacted new credit card laws forbiding bank from nefarious evil doing.  Banks jacked up their rates prior to the law going into effect.  In other words, “Let’s fuck our customers now while we still have the chance.”  Wells Fargo pulled that shit with me.  Either way, the consumer loses in the form high interest rates.

So about a week ago I got a pre-approved offer from Citibank.  One of those balance transfer things for a 0% interest rate for a rather lengthy time period and at a fairly low 3% transfer fee.  Most other banks are charging 4% and I’ve even seen a 5% one come through in the last couple of weeks.  Greedy fuckers.

So I took them up on their offer and tried to transfer a balance from Bank of America (who’s also ass raping me on interest…me, a person with a 934 FICO score, pfft).  Just got a letter back from Citibank.

“Your total credit obligations, which include outstanding credit lines, are too high to meet our approval guidelines, when compared to your stated income.”

We’re talking TRANSFERRING a current balance, NOT racking up new debt.  Assholes.

Fuck, I should have lied harder about my stated income.  I’m retired and that fat-ass programmer’s salary with bonuses isn’t there anymore, but I still have the same high lines of available credit on my cards, and not maxed out, mind you.  So back in the day when the bucks were rolling in and they kept increasing my credit line, now it works against me. 

Get the shovel.

Wells Fargo Raising Credit Card Interest Rates

Wells Fucko is fucking me once again.  Just got a notice today that they increasing the margin on purchases to 13.35% for a grand total of 19.10% APR.  Why?  Interest rates are at their all-time low. 

Here’s the part that I really love:  “These changes are not a reflection of how you have managed your account with us or your credit score.”

Well, maybe they should be.  Last I checked my FICO was over 900.  Forget the fact that I’m prolly your best paying customer while you foreclose on and repossed everything else around you. 

How is it that Chase (they can be assholes, too so don’t let them fool you) can give me a fixed rate of 3.25% (NOT a promo rate), but you pricks want to charge me 19.10%?  You’re already ass raping me for 16.10% and you want more?  Fuck you.

Hang on folks.  Give me a few minutes here.  I’m going to give these dick heads a call right now…

I told the chick if she can match Chase I’ll stay…She’s getting a banker on the line.

She lied.  It was Lisa, a new account rep in Reno.  She said she doesn’t have the ability to lower rates on an existing account.  (Hmmm, me thinking to myself.  Every other fucking bank in the world does.)  She asked if she could go over some other products that may help me.  (Hmmm, thinking to myself again.  They want to get their claws deeper into me.)  

I flat out told her, “All I have left with Wells Fargo is a checking account and a credit card.  I’ve already closed the savings account and another checking account.  Wells Fargo simply cannot compete with the other banks and I had no choice but to close them.” 

She said if I don’t want to sign up for additional services, then she can’t help me.  I said, “Ok, I’ll listen to see what you can do.” 

Do I have upcoming large bills or a mortgage?  No and No.  (Hmmm, thinking to myself, she’s going to want me to take out a loan.)  Will I be buying a house?  No, I am unemployed.  (What I really meant to say was “Oh HELL no!”) Do I want a line of credit even though I can’t match that 3.25% rate from Chase?  No.  She say’s, “Sorry, I can’t do anything for you at this time then.” 

Me, “Ok, transfer me back to customer service again so I can close out the account.”

Now I’ve got Nicole on the line.  She said they have nothing available at this time.  So I told her to close the account.  Fuck them.  All three ladies I talked to were nice, but there was no way they were going to budge.

Have I lost anything?  Yes.  I lost my overdraft protection and I was a credit card customer for 12 years so I lost having that “credit card account opened for a long period of time” thing that creditors like to see on your history.  That hurt.

Let me tell you something about that overdraft protection.  They fuck you over on that, too.  I don’t know what their overdraft fees are, but they are expensive just like any other bank, prolly at least $30.  However, overdraft protection isn’t such a prince of a deal, itself.  I got dinged by them earlier this year because I got lazy and wasn’t watching my balance and got slapped with an “interest fee” for overdraft protection.  It was something crazy like $10!!!  Wells Fucko is not your friend.

In summary, I have never, ever, fucking ever not had a bank not willing to work with me.  I don’t like Chase, but they will bend over backwards to lower interest rates to keep me when I threaten to close accounts.  They value their customers.  Wells Fargo doesn’t.  If they want to play hardball at the expense of losing customers, then so be it.

So now all I have left with them is a checking account.  Unbeknownst to them I have a checking account at the Chase bank across the street from them.  It has $1 in it.  I opened the account right before Washington Mutual bit the dust, then Chase bought them out.  But I’m a creature of habit so I keep driving to Wells Fucko.  Maybe I should shorten the trip by a block and start using Chase.  If they fuck with me again and I will.

UPDATE – October 21, 2009:  Something occurred to me in the middle of the night.  I got an absolutely fantastic deal on a balance transfer offer a couple of weeks ago from another credit card.  Even with the transfer fee, the transaction was less than the interest fees I was paying with Wells Fucko.  So I wrote the balance transfer check and paid off the Wells Fucko card.  And now a few days later I get this interest increase??  Coincidence?  I think not.  Retaliation?  I think so.  They know when something is paid with a balance transfer check.  Maybe that’s why they wouldn’t budge on the interest rate giving me that “nothing is available at this time” bullshit.  My account’s been flag.  If it’s not punishment, then fucking prove me wrong.

Anyone in the banking industry out there reading this? Give me the inside scoop. Let’s have some whistleblowing. Tell me, do credit card/banks retaliate on their customers? Any other dirty secrets you want to share?

Chase Bank Pushes Alice Down The Rabbit Hole

Chase Bank.  Those fuckers.  I got a letter the other day from them.  “We are pleased to let you know that we are making changes to your payment due date to give you more time to pay….you will have an additional 5 days to submit your payment.”

With the millions of credit card customers that Chase has, those additional five days will rake in millions of dollars in extra interest from unsuspecting customers.  It’s not even a fucking option!  They’re just shoving it down our throats. 

Most people pay credit card bills according to due date and they’re going to think that Chase is “being nice and doing them a favor by helping them out during these hard times”.  BULL FUCKING SHIT!  Little do they know that those extra five days is going to suck more money out of their pocket and in a few months customers will forget about those five days.  That’s what Chase is hoping for.  Talk about a slight of hand, an end run. 

The only way to pay down those card balances is to make a payment as soon as you get that bitch in the mail.  Do NOT wait until the due date nears and always pay more than the minimum amount.  Fuckers.  God I hate credit card companies.  Get the fucking shovel.  These bastards are going under…again.